It's been very tough these past two days. Since my husband was hospitalized, there seems to be a familiar spirit rising within him that is causing him to become frustrated and insecure.
I say "familiar spirit" because these are negative attitudes that developed in his last deployment. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity are causing him to react insensitively. The interrogations of my whereabouts and the abrupt endings of phone calls have commenced. I had fears that this would reoccur. And it has.
During my first experience of deployment in 2009, I didn't know how to deal with all these negative reactions. Every phone call that I once looked forward to, became hurtful. It came to a point that I feared taking his calls. I didn't want to lie to him when he asked me questions, but the truth will cause him to be enraged. Why? Because he was overthere fighting for his life, and I was here enjoying mine like he says. He would make me feel guilty if I was anywhere else but home. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that year. I knew that he loved me and was concerned because every day some soldier received a "dear john" letter. He was fearful that one day he will receive one too. Despite my reassurance of my love, the fear consumed him. By the grace of God we overcame much of our struggles during that time.
I am sure that there are other military wives who have or is experiencing similiar outbursts from their husbands. I've learned not to take it personal and I advise you the same. Not to say that it does not hurt us at that moment but we must not allow the hurt to harden our hearts towards them. It only leaves an open door for the enemy to wreak havoc in our marriage and tempt us to react negatively as well.
Our husbands are under much stress. Their concerns of financially caring for their families, missing their families and their fight to stay alive so that they may return to their families is overwhelming. They worry about us feeling so lonely that we seek others to fill that void. They fear losing us, just as much as we fear losing them. Its not to say that their behavior is justified, neither should it be excused to the point where they are verbally abusive. We can, although express our concerns and set boundaries with love, and reassuring them of our faithfulness to them.
Although my husband's reactions these past two days hurt me, even angered me, I gave it to the Lord. I know he is enduring pressures I could never comprehend, and I also know that he is a kind and loving man aside from all of this. Therefore, I trust in God. Why? Because Our God is Faithful.......He saw us once through it all and will help us come through again!
13No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.
***UPDATE: Also test results showed that my husband's liver is fine! He will be recuperating from his bruised spleen this week and will be released on Friday. Truly when we give our concerns to the Lord in prayer, He is faithful to hear and answer us.....Thank you Lord!
I say "familiar spirit" because these are negative attitudes that developed in his last deployment. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity are causing him to react insensitively. The interrogations of my whereabouts and the abrupt endings of phone calls have commenced. I had fears that this would reoccur. And it has.
During my first experience of deployment in 2009, I didn't know how to deal with all these negative reactions. Every phone call that I once looked forward to, became hurtful. It came to a point that I feared taking his calls. I didn't want to lie to him when he asked me questions, but the truth will cause him to be enraged. Why? Because he was overthere fighting for his life, and I was here enjoying mine like he says. He would make me feel guilty if I was anywhere else but home. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that year. I knew that he loved me and was concerned because every day some soldier received a "dear john" letter. He was fearful that one day he will receive one too. Despite my reassurance of my love, the fear consumed him. By the grace of God we overcame much of our struggles during that time.
I am sure that there are other military wives who have or is experiencing similiar outbursts from their husbands. I've learned not to take it personal and I advise you the same. Not to say that it does not hurt us at that moment but we must not allow the hurt to harden our hearts towards them. It only leaves an open door for the enemy to wreak havoc in our marriage and tempt us to react negatively as well.
Our husbands are under much stress. Their concerns of financially caring for their families, missing their families and their fight to stay alive so that they may return to their families is overwhelming. They worry about us feeling so lonely that we seek others to fill that void. They fear losing us, just as much as we fear losing them. Its not to say that their behavior is justified, neither should it be excused to the point where they are verbally abusive. We can, although express our concerns and set boundaries with love, and reassuring them of our faithfulness to them.
Although my husband's reactions these past two days hurt me, even angered me, I gave it to the Lord. I know he is enduring pressures I could never comprehend, and I also know that he is a kind and loving man aside from all of this. Therefore, I trust in God. Why? Because Our God is Faithful.......He saw us once through it all and will help us come through again!
1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message)
13No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.
***UPDATE: Also test results showed that my husband's liver is fine! He will be recuperating from his bruised spleen this week and will be released on Friday. Truly when we give our concerns to the Lord in prayer, He is faithful to hear and answer us.....Thank you Lord!
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