The Grieving Process: Anger

What is grief? Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. (Wikipedia.org)

Grief is a five-stage process: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and finally acceptance. (Elisabeth Kugler-Ross, MD)

Today, I want to address the second stage: ANGER! 

In my previous post, I spoke about the first stage of denial.  I did not want to accept who my husband has become.  I did not want to accept the fact that my life must change to adapt to the new one!  Regardless of my refusal to accept, things changed! I found myself angry.  As a Christian woman, I was struggling with this emotion.  Anger is not sin.  However, our actions due to anger, are! 

The Grieving Process: Denial

What is grief? Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. (Wikipedia.org)

Grief is a five-stage process: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and finally acceptance. (Elisabeth Kugler-Ross, MD)

Today, I want to address the first stage: DENIAL! 

While my husband was deployed, I knew he'd come back alive because God promised he would bring him back home.  Although I am grateful that he came home, he did not come back alive.  For many of you, you understand that statement.  Allow me to explain for those who don't.

Personally, I did not want to face the fact that my husband returned as another man.  During his third deployment, when he came home on leave, I noticed the changes.  I remember staring at him as he slept beside me and crying out to God "LORD, I am sleeping with a stranger!" In my despair, I continued to pray for healing, deliverance and restoration of our relationship. As the years passed, I was able to cope by the grace of God.  I kept myself immersed in the Word of God and prayer - fueling my faith!

Really?

This morning as I'm calling out to my son to hurry because its time to drive him to school, my husband interjects and yells immediately after I called out to my son.  All I said in a soft and gentle way was "why do you yell".....Well, that set him off into a rant.  I should have kept my mouth shut!!!

But how long do I keep it shut? How long do I walk on eggshells? How long do I enable him to continue to disrespect me? I am quickly reminded that a gentle answers turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1) Although my tone was gentle, my choice words caused him feel like I was reprimanding him. By all means, I was not.  However, I am tired of hearing him yell for every little thing that irritates him and unfortunately we get the brunt of his anger whether it has to do with us or not.

Reviving Military Wives

What a journey! My head is still spinning from the roller coaster ride! One moment my arms were held high as I climb new victories and then I find myself clinging to the edge of my seat as I plunge and spiral down the same track of confusion, discouragement and despair.

My last entry testified of one of those moments of victories. Unfortunately, my high was short lived!
I nearly lost my religion! Good God! If it wasn't for His strength during my times of weakness, I don't know where I'd be right now! Probably downing some of my husband's tramadol to numb my pain or prison for attempted murder! I'm just kidding! No p's for me -pills or prison!  But seriously, can you relate? I'm sure those who have a wounded soldier at home can.  By wounded I'm not referring to the physical.  No, its deeper than that.  I'm talking about the wound of a soul (mind, will, emotions).